domingo, 24 de fevereiro de 2013

AS NOVE MATRIZES DO EU INFERIOR





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Satsang   proferido 

na India - 2011



ENSINAMENTOS de Prem Baba


As nove matrizes do eu Inferior e as distorções dos atributos divinos


A personalidade pode ser representada por uma mandala: Na camada externa está o ‘eu idealizado’, com suas infinitas máscaras: a vítima, o submisso, o amoroso, o cuidadoso, o agradador, o agressivo, o autosuficiente, o indiferente, o iluminado, o devoto... E, numa camada mais interna, está o que eu denominei de as nove matrizes do eu inferior, que são instrumentos da intencionalidade negativa, ou seja, do seu “não” para a vida. Na camada ainda mais interna ou profunda da mandala está escondida a dor e, por trás dela, estão a as virtudes da alma (contrapartes das nove matrizes). Bem no centro da mandala, na camada mais interna ou profunda, está o Eu Divino.

As matrizes do ‘eu inferior’ são camadas de autodefesa criadas pela entidade como resposta aos choques de exclusão, humilhação, rejeição e abandono que ela viveu durante a sua jornada. Essas defesas podem se manifestar em diferentes graus de egoísmo e destrutividade, que dão sustentação aos pactos de vingança.

Vamos conhecer um pouco sobre cada uma das matrizes:

Gula – Qualquer manifestação de voracidade, o que podemos também chamar de compulsão, pois é incontrolável. Ela não é necessariamente ligada somente à comida, mas à qualquer tipo de compulsão: de comer, de falar, de ler, de fazer sexo, de comprar... Isso inclui os pensamentos compulsivos.

Preguiça – A paralisação diante daquilo que precisa ser feito. O preguiçoso é comumente visto como um vagabundo, ou seja, existe um julgamento moral em relação a ele. Mas, na verdade, ele não é um vagabundo, mas sim um refém de sentimentos congelados e suprimidos no seu sistema. Um “workaholic” pode ser extremamente preguiçoso porque faz muitas coisas, menos o que precisa ser feito. Esse fazer se torna uma fuga.

Avareza – O desejo de acumular coisas. O avarento acumula, mas não divide, ele guarda e quer tudo para si: coisas, dinheiro, mulheres, homens... Essa é uma manifestação do que eu costumo chamar de ‘medo da escassez’. A avareza não se manifesta somente com o dinheiro, mas também pode ser avareza de amor, de sentimento, entre outras coisas.

Inveja – É um desgosto pelo sucesso alheio e uma vontade de destruir o objeto desejado. Ela nasce de um profundo sentimento de impotência e inadequação e pode se manifestar de diversas formas, até mesmo como auto-inveja, ou seja, a inveja de alguma outra parte sua.

Ira – É impulso destrutivo manifestado como violência, Ela pode ter muitos desdobramentos: irritação, impaciência, intolerância, fúria, rancor, vingança... Também se manifesta de forma passiva através da mágoa e da indiferença.

Orgulho – O orgulho se vale de muitas máscaras para manter-se oculto e camuflado. Essas máscaras são as manifestações do próprio orgulho que se manifesta de diversas maneiras: vaidade, vergonha, arrogância, autoimagem, complexo de inferioridade e superioridade, falsa humildade...

Luxúria – É o uso distorcido da sexualidade, ou seja, é a utilização da energia sexual para obter poder sobre o outro. Pode se manifesta como sedução, ciúme e possessividade.

Medo – O medo se faz presente em todas as matrizes. Ele inclui a dúvida, o ceticismo e todos os tipos de pânico. Ele é o guardião dos sentimentos negados e suprimidos.

Mentira – A mais enganosa das matrizes do eu inferior. Assim como o medo, está presente em todas as outras matrizes. Ela vai desde a mentira descarada (que é dita ao outro para promover a si próprio), até sua manifestação mais sutil que é o autoengano, ou o esquecimento de quem é você.

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Todas as matrizes são produtos da sua identificação com o corpo. Uma das manifestações do corpo é a sua criança ferida. Essa instância do seu psiquismo, esse aspecto da sua personalidade que foi moldado pelo que você aprendeu no mundo e pelos choques de exclusão, de humilhação, abandono e rejeição que você viveu. Então sua mente ficou fixada ali. Você acredita ser essa criança. Em termos mais objetivos, o que é essa criança? É a sua história. Você está fixada na sua história, está encantada com ela. Nesse encantamento, você acredita ser essa criança que precisou criar esses mecanismos de defesa.

(...)

O eu inferior é visto como algo muito pessoal por conta, claro, da identificação com ele próprio. Conforme você vai aprofundando o seu processo de identificação, vai se surpreender com uma coisa: o eu inferior não é sua propriedade; são partículas soltas que estão flutuando no universo e, por conta de determinadas leis, você acabou trazendo para si algumas partículas específicas. Por conta de determinadas leis, você encarnou neste planeta com o propósito cósmico de integrar tais partículas.

 Mesmo antes de encarnar, o processo de integração já estava determinado, então, trata-se de um propósito cósmico. Estamos falando da alquimia do mal que cada um carrega em si com o propósito de transformá-lo. Cada corpo humano é um casulo de eus psicológicos e o seu trabalho é justamente transformá-los. Das nove matrizes do eu inferior - gula, preguiça, avareza, inveja, ira, orgulho, luxúria, medo, mentira – e todas as distorções dos atributos divinos na forma da máscara – o submisso, o auto suficiente ou o retraído – embora cada um carregue todas essas manifestações, em cada encarnação sempre tem um personagem principal. Se você transforma o protagonista, transforma a todos.


Mas, é importante que vejamos essas manifestações como complexos autônomos independentes. Embora sejam criados pela mente, eles ganharam autonomia e agem como entidades que tem muito claro o que querem. O que eles querem? Viver, como tudo que é vivo quer viver. Qual é o alimento que mantém a vida de uma manifestação da sombra? As emoções negativas que ela mesma gera. Ela vai fazer de tudo para repetir a cena e gerar as mesmas emoções a fim de continuar viva. Por isso que eu falo que a forma de identificar esses eus é identificar as suas repetições negativas. Todas as repetições negativas têm um eu psicológico no comando. O eu inferior que eu chamo de criança ferida, com seus protestos de onipotência e sua vingança em relação ao mundo, quer repetir o drama, a mesma novela porque vai reviver as emoções.


AS NOVE MATRIZES DO EU INFERIOR - VERGONHA

Pergunta: Amado Prem Baba, eu sinto vergonha de muitas coisas, mesmo de mostrar o meu
amor ou a minha reverencia. Ou até mesmo de ser quem sou. Isso limita muito a minha vida.
Pode falar sobre a vergonha? Ou sobre como integrá-la e transformá-la?

Prem Baba: A partir de um determinado estágio da evolução da consciência, o ego é visto como
ilusório, mas até que se alcance esse estágio, o ego é percebido como algo bastante concreto.
Principalmente o aspecto do ego que chamamos de eu inferior representado pelas nove
matrizes: gula, preguiça, avareza, inveja, ira, orgulho, luxuria, medo e mentira. Muitas das
transmissões espirituais do nosso tempo concentram-se em como acordar a sua natureza divina
partindo do principio de que o ego é ilusório.

Mas, o que fazer com as pessoas que não estão
ainda nesse estágio e sentem as manifestações do eu inferior como algo tão concreto como
pedra. 

Talvez possamos reformular a pergunta: O que fazer com a natureza sombria da
personalidade? Você somente está pronto para considerar a sombra como uma ilusão depois
que a identificou, elaborou e integrou. Ai sim você pode tratar qualquer manifestação do eu
inferior como sendo ilusória. Inclusive o ego como um todo; a idéia de eu, é também percebido
como somente uma ilusão. Mas, são muito raras as entidades que alcaçaram esse estágio.
Porque, por mais que a gente queira ver a realidade como ilusória, ela existe e está em toda a parte. 

Quando utilizo a palavra maldade eu me refiro a essas tendências, essas matrizes do eu
inferior que representam o nosso sistema de defesa. São nove tipos de venenos que
segregamos quando nos sentimos ameaçados e machucados. E cada qual desses nove tipos de
venenos tem subtipos que te intoxicam e intoxicam a quem aproxima; te machucam e
machucam a quem te ameaça e aciona de alguma forma esse mecanismo de defesa. Por isso
que eu chamo esse sistema de ciclo vicioso do sadomasoquismo. Se você olha de cima, você vê
como ilusório, mas se ainda não pode olhar de cima, você percebe tudo isso como uma
realidade bastante concreta da qual você é vitima e através da qual você faz vitimas. 

Muitas dessas transmissões espirituais tratam o mal como uma ilusão, mas de onde nasce o mal então?

O que causa essa manifestação que faz com que as pessoas se machuquem, se desrespeitem e
se maltratem? O nome que eu dou para isso é maldade, mas não estou fazendo um juízo de
valor ou moral. Eu vejo simplesmente como um sistema de defesa que foi criado para proteger
a entidade dos choques de exclusão, abandono, rejeição e humilhação. Quanto menos amado
você foi, mais dor no seu sistema. Porque o desamor gera uma ferida no corpo emocional e essa
ferida dói. E quanto maior a dor, mais fortalecido é o sistema de defesa e maior a sua
identificação com o sistema de defesa, portanto, maior ou mais fortalecido o seu
condicionamento. a sua mente está mais intensamente condicionada. Você acredita ser aquele
mecanismo de defesa. Isso é identificação. 

Você se torna aquele pensamento. Aquilo se torna a
sua identidade. Uma falsa identidade, mas é a identidade que você acredita durante certo
estágio da sua evolução.

Como esses mecanismos de defesa ou matrizes do eu inferior de uma forma geral são

moralmente julgadas e condenadas pela região, pela cultura e pela sociedade, você precisa
usar uma mascara, um disfarce que encobre esse mecanismo de defesa. A máscara é um fingir
ser. Ela não se compromete com a verdade em nenhum grau. Nem com a realidade relativa e
transitória do eu inferior, nem com a verdade permanente do Ser. A máscara é uma solução que
você encontrou para ser aceito no mundo.

Por exemplo, você foi machucado e ficou com raiva e agora tem sentimentos de vingança. Mas,

como você aprendeu que é errado sentir isso, você finge ser uma pessoa pacífica, uma pessoa
amorosa. A máscara é criada de acordo com o ambiente que ela vive porque ela é criada como
uma solução para você receber amor e atenção. Se, em determinado ambiente, você sente que
tem que ser fraco e submisso você vai criar essa máscara da submissão que é uma distorção do
amor. Você não pode ser amoroso ainda, então você finge a amor. O amor fingido é submissão,
é vitimismo. Assim é com a distorção do poder que gera a máscara da agressividade e da falsa
autosuficiência. E também é assim com a distorção da serenidade que gera o retraimento, a
indiferença.

Então, dependendo do ambiente, você cria uma dessas máscaras para sobreviver e forçar

o outro a te dar atenção. É nesse estágio de identificação que se encontra a maior parte da
humanidade. Quando a entidade humana começa a amadurecer, ela começa a tirar a máscara
e começa a assumir a verdade relativa e transitória do eu inferior e compreende que ele está
a serviço de protegê-la; e também compreende o que ela está protegendo. Ela compreende a
dor que está por trás dessa matriz; identifica os sentimentos negados e suprimidos e, então, ela
pode se libertar desse mecanismo de defesa porque agora ela já pode sentir a dor. Se ela pode
sentir dor, ela pode sentir alegria também. Então, se ela se libertou do sistema de defesa, ela
pode experimentar o Ser. Ela começa a perceber o ego como uma ilusão e vai trabalhar para
ancorar a presença e não dar mais atenção para as vozes do eu inferior que ainda vão continuar
falando por algum tempo devido ao reflexo condicionado. Mas, você continua não dando
atenção para as vozes e firme na busca da realidade espiritual.

A Vergonha filha do Orgulho

Entre os nove venenos, o sexto é um dos mais poderosos: o orgulho. Ele tem vários subtipos de

venenos que eu costumo chamar de filhas do orgulho.

Eu tive um mestre que me iniciou nessa psicologia espiritual que dizia que o orgulho tinha

cerca de 800 filhos. Eu nunca vi todos eles, mas eu vi que as principais filhas do orgulho são a
autoimagem, vaidade e a vergonha. Ou seja, a vergonha é um dos principais venenos porque
funciona como uma cerca elétrica que te separa do outro. Ela cria um isolamento. Se o objetivo
da encarnação é o transito do estado de isolamento para o estado de união, a vergonha é
realmente um veneno poderoso porque ela te mantém no estado de isolamento, aprisionado
numa jaula.

Todas essas matrizes do eu inferior ou esses tipos de venenos vão se desenvolvendo

progressivamente criando camadas e camadas. Então, é possível que hoje você tenha
consciência da vergonha de algumas coisas bem especificas do seu dia a dia. Talvez você tenha
vergonha do seu corpo, da sua aparência, de alguma incapacidade ou dificuldade sua. Mas,
isso são camadas superficiais; são desdobramentos do veneno original. Para que você possa
ir além dessa cerca é importante que você possa cortar o fio que está ligando-a na tomada. É
importante resgatar a sua vergonha mais antiga, as camadas mais antigas de vergonha, aquelas
que estão protegendo dos choques que você experienciou. Nesse estágio de evolução da
consciência, nã porque você ainda tem vergonha dele.
Isso significa que de fato o passado é presente. Você ainda não aceita algumas coisas da sua
vida.

Você pode também fazer o caminho inverso que pode ser mais fácil: identificar as coisas das

quais você tem vergonha e não aceita hoje até que devagar você vai trabalhando para aceitar e
vai tirando uma camada após a outra até que você chega na camada primal que gerou a cisão
no seu ser. Um bom exercício para você trabalhar a vergonha, são os relacionamentos porque
é justamente na relação com o outro que a vergonha se manifesta. Há paginas no livro da sua
vida que você não quer mostrar para ninguém e há páginas que você não quer mostrar para si
mesmo. Há coisas que é muito difícil de você aceitar. E talvez até porque você viveu realmente
grandes choques. Talvez você tenha sido muito humilhado e excluído por causa do que você não
aceitar. Por isso, você precisa se esconder, mas saiba que enquanto você estiver escondendo,
você está adiando a sua evolução.

Os relacionamentos de uma forma geral ajudam a fazer esse espelhamento. Quanto maior

o isolamento, maior a separação. Quanto menor a vergonha, maior a intimidade porque é
maior a transparência, maior a revelação de um para o outro e maior o grau de objetividade
na comunicação. Objetividade significa a manifestação da verdade. Por conta das cercas você
não consegue ser objetivo e acaba sendo muito subjetivo. Subjetividade significa meia verdade.
Você vê tudo mais ou menos e se mostra mais ou menos. Você não consegue se mostrar. Você
mostra apenas até uma certa página ou então sempre páginas diferentes do seu livro da vida.
Porque quando chega na página onde está a dor guardada, você fecha. Ai a tendência é você
procurar outras amizades, outros relacionamentos, outros amantes para mostrar somente o
que você quer mostrar. As vezes isso dá muito trabalho. As vezes numa relação com um amigo
de trabalho você começou a tocar naquela página, então você tem que mudar de emprego
rapidamente antes que seja pego.

Mas, porque você foge? Porque você se sente correndo perigo; teme voltar a viver aquela

experiência dolorosa do passado.

Só para dar um exemplo: uma moça tinha vergonha de falar em publico a ponto de gaguejar.

Sempre que tinha duas ou mais pessoas por perto, ela começava a gaguejar. Nós fomos atrás
desse trauma. Quando ela era criancinha de 6 ou 7 anos, ela foi fazer uma apresentação na
escolha e ela errou e a professora e toda a classe a ridicularizou. Mas, há pessoas que passam
por essas experiências, mas não desenvolvem um mecanismo de defesa tão intenso. Podemos
entender isso de muitas maneiras. Isso varia desde o seu sistema psíquico espiritual até a
possibilidade dessas imagens serem reencarnates.

Nesse exemplo que eu acabei de descrever, se a pessoa já tivesse uma marca de humilhação,

vivendo uma experiência dessas novamente, ela teve que acordar uma defesa intensa que é
essa tremenda vergonha. Ela não consegue falar quando tem mais de duas pessoas perto dela.
Esse é um exemplo.

Nesse caso, vale a pena você trabalhar para identificar a fonte da sua vergonha começando a

usar as ferramentas de autoinvestigação que já foram transmitidas para te ajudar a estabelecer
a relação de causa e efeito até que você possa integrar esse mecanismo de defesa e se libertar
da dor que está criando esse mecanismo. Com isso você poderá revelar o Ser que está por
trás dessas capas. O seu ser está encoberto por essas capas. Por isso eu digo que o orgulho se
transforma em humildade. A luxúria em devoção; o medo em confiança; a mentira em verdade
e assim por diante. É uma reconversão de uma energia que foi distorcida por conta do impulso

de desamor. Esse impulso foi o choque que gerou a distorção da energia porque quando

você chegou aqui, você estava no estado original com todas as virtudes da alma estavam se
manifestando plenamente, mas esses choques criaram essas distorções. E agora você precisa
fazer o caminho das pedras. Você vai ter que ter essa paciência, essa firmeza, essa compaixão
sempre sendo renovada para poder realizar essa transformação. Principalmente quando se
tratam de choques muito profundos portanto as defesas são muito intensas e podem gerar
um sentimento de cansaço e desesperança. Você talvez ache que nunca vai se livrar disso
porque por mais que você tente, você está lá novamente repetindo aquele condicionamento.
você acredita que está dando o seu melhor, mas de repetete esse padrão reaparece e rouba
a sua energia novamente. É como o demônio Mahisha que aumenta sua força a cada gota de
sangue que cai no chão. então durga tem que se transformar em kali. Quando você pensa que
melhorou, logo aparece outro demônio. Mas, isso é para você desenvolver a sua paciência, a
sua aceitação, a sua determinação e a sua compaixão inclusive com a sua própria sombra. O
joog é perfeito. Quando você começa a se cansar e quer parar de jogar, logo vem o eu inferior
querendo jogar novamente. Agora é outro aspecto, outra filha do orgulho, a vaidade que entrou
pela porta dos fundos. Ela sempre quer estar acima porque não aceita as imperfeições. Você
somente consegue manifestar a perfeição divina quando aceita as suas imperfeições humanas
e não quer estar acima delas. Você trabalha para integrar, não para estar acima. Se você tenta
estar acima, é a vaidade novamente. Você vai integrando todas essas partes da consciência e
integrando tudo no Self, o grande centro da vida.

Esse é o significado da palavra individuação ou integração. As diversas partes da personalidade

que estão fragmentados podem ser reintegrados.

Então, meus amados amigos, vamos renovar os nossos votos e continuar firme no propósito.

Cada um com o seu sadhana. Cada qual com a sua devoção, mas sem deixar de autoinvestigar e
autotransformar.

Eu rezo para que tenhamos a coragem de assumirmos tudo aquilo que somos e que possamos

perdoar a quem nos ofendeu e assim poder agradecer o mistério da vida e poder experienciar a
liberdade.

Até o nosso próximo encontro.


NAMASTE



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Outra colocação no Satsang de 02/o há como você evitar revisitar o passado03/2013
Kumb Mela - India

ver Satsang completo





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THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS

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by Eva Broch Pierrakos
ã 1996 The Pathworkâ Foundation (1996 Edition)
Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102
1996 Edition
April 27, 1962

THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS

Eva Pierrakos
 was born in Vienna in 1915, the daughter of the well-known novelist Jakob Wassermann. She grew up among the intellectual elite of Vienna. Eva Pierrakos’ first husband was the son of another famous writer, Hermann Broch.According to various published accounts, Eva Pierrakos was bright and outgoing. She loved to dance and ski. The last thing she imagined herself doing was becoming an instrument for spiritual communications.
In 1939, shortly before the Nazi’s took over Austria, Eva Pierrakos came to the United States. For a while she lived in New York and then in Switzerland, where she discovered that she had a gift for automatic writing. By meditating for long hours, changing her diet, and making a commitment to use her gift only for helping people, she eventually succeeded in becoming a channel for a spirit entity who offered remarkably penetrating insights into the human condition and the spiritual path.
From 1957 to 1979, this entity presented a series of 258 lectures and offered hundreds of question and answer sessions and private consultations through Eva Pierrakos. Most of these sessions were spoken, not written, although a few of the later lectures were apparently channeled while Eva Pierrakos typed. The lectures came to be known as “The Pathwork Guide Lectures” while the spirit entity, who never identified itself, came to be called “the Guide.” According to the Guide, it was the material, not the source of the material, that was important. The Guide did, however, make some rather provocative claims about the material itself.
First of all, the Guide said that the material it presented did not require those who read it to believe in it. All one had to do was apply the material and the results would speak for themselves.
Secondly, if the material was practiced, the Guide promised that it would completely change your life. Not only would it give you profound insight into yourself, others, God and the nature of life itself, but it would also help you find true inner (and outer) peace and happiness.
On the other hand, the Guide warned that the path it offered was not an easy one. It required intense self-awareness, profound self-honesty and a willingness to expose the darkest realms of the human soul to the light of day. The Guide said that the task of our normal waking consciousness was to build a bridge between the highest and lowest parts of ourselves. We are required to dig deep into our souls in search of whatever dark, twisted forces roam within. As we discover these dark inner forces, our task then becomes one of calling upon the higher parts of ourselves to help us heal and transform these childish, self-centered, wayward aspects of ourselves.
The Guide’s focus on confronting and transforming the darkness within is, perhaps, the main thing that distinguishes it from many of today’s spiritual teachings. Unlike many of today’s spiritual paths and philosophies which tend to focus only on the spiritual nature of the human soul, the Pathwork Guide focused on both the light and the darkness, insisting that the darkness within us cannot be shined away, ignored, or suppressed. It has to be confronted directly, and then, with the help of the higher forces within us, reeducated and transformed.
In addition, the Pathwork material insists that the only way any of us can find God is by passing through and transforming our lower selves. From the Pathwork’s perspective, the lower, unhealed parts of ourselves stand between ourselves and our Inmost Beings. Until these lower aspects of ourselves have been transformed, the way to our Inmost Being will always be blocked.
This is a fragment from a Special Report by David Sunfellow for ‘New Heaven New Earth’ on the Pathwork Guide Lectures. You can find the whole text here.


Greetings. God bless you, my dearest friends. Blessed is this hour.

I have promised to give you a psychological explanation of the meaning of the seven cardinal
sins. What is called sin is the outer manifestation, either in deed or thought, of psychological
deviation and immaturity. In other words, the result of inner distortion produces what is called
"sin." The common denominator of any sin is immaturity of the soul, which makes it incapable of
relating, communicating, and loving. In the broadest terms, sin is lack of love. An immature person
is never able to love. Anyone in that condition is selfish, egocentric, blind, and cannot understand
others. Immaturity means separateness. In separateness, one does not love and is therefore "in sin."

Sin, in psychological terms, is neurosis. The only difference between the spiritual and psychological
approach is that the spiritual approach puts emphasis on the result, while the psychological approach
shows the underlying causes and the different currents and components leading to separateness,
neurosis, or sin.

The first cardinal sin is PRIDE. I have discussed this in the past.* You all know its origin,
reason, effects, and side effects. Briefly: pride is always a compensation for feelings of inferiority
and inadequacy. That the effects of your pride must lead to separateness is self-explanatory.

The second cardinal sin is COVETOUSNESS -- greed. Again, you know its deeper meaning
from past lectures. If you covet something you do not possess you blind yourself, because you
believe that having what you want would give you happiness, when, in fact, happiness is an inner
state which can never be achieved by outer means. You are also blind when you ignore the inner
causes of your not having what you wish to have.

In your search for self-understanding you have come to realize that whatever you lack in your
life, provided your wish for it is a healthy one, is caused by a conflict within you. Such a conflict is
your being afraid -- perhaps unconsciously -- of the very thing you want most. You may have
desires and be unaware of many obstacles to their fulfillment. Finally, you may be even unaware of
what you really wish for. Under these circumstances, you may envy others and covet what they
have, because you cannot resolve your own problems which keep you from fulfilling yourself. What
you covet may be a substitute for your real needs of which you may not be aware.

Covetousness, as well as pride, separates you from others and from your real self. Both lead
to, and stem from, self-alienation; both are opposites of love, of communication, and of relating to
others. These vices do not unite, but set you apart and above, in a special, isolated place you think
someone else holds. All this is inner blindness which leads to outer selfishness and to separateness.

by Eva Broch Pierrakos
ã 1996 The Pathworkâ Foundation (1996 Edition)


(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
Page 2 of 13)

The third cardinal sin is LUST. Lust is so often misunderstood. It is believed to refer to
sexuality, but this is not necessarily so. Now, what does lust mean? It means any kind of passionate
desire, whether or not it has to do with sexuality, which is indulged in a spirit of egocentricity or
isolation. It is the childish attitude of "I want to have, to get," without a true spirit of mutuality.

One may be willing to give, provided one receives what one wants, and yet the basic emphasis is
placed subtly on the self, rather than on mutuality. True mutuality is not possible without the
capacity to relinquish, and to tolerate not always having one's own way. The maturity to withstand
frustration and to relinquish one's will is a prerequisite for true mutuality. When the need to receive
is a greedy force that is intrinsically selfish, then one can speak of lust.

As I have often said, it is easy to be deceived because the stronger this selfish need exists, the
more the person may sacrifice, submit, and be a martyr. All this is an unconscious manipulation in
order to get one's own way. Since this tendency is subtle and hidden, and often has nothing to do
with sexual passions, it may not be obvious that it is lust. Yet all human beings have some of it.

Where there is a forcing current and a driving need, there is lust. You all have that, and it is even
stronger when it is not yet consciously experienced. You may deceive yourself because that which
you so strenuously desire may in itself be something constructive. Yet, you are the craving, needy
child who wants to be the center of the universe. The raging need, which you may or may not be
conscious of, is disconnected from the causes that brought about the original unfulfillment. In your
ignorance, the need -- or lust -- swells to unbearable proportions and you become more frustrated
because you do not see the remedy, which is a change of inner direction.

In other words, an unfulfilled need that remains unrecognized in its primary, original form,
produces lust. To the degree that you become aware of your real needs, you automatically increase
your maturity. When a need is unconscious, a displacement occurs and a substitute need is pursued
lustfully. No matter how legitimate, constructive, or rational it may be in itself, such a pursuit
indicates immaturity. The stronger the urgency, the greater the frustration must be. It does not
matter whether this refers to sexual desire, or the lust for power, for money, for being liked, or for a
particular thing. When these emotions are investigated and the original need found, you can begin
to dissolve the lust. You can come to terms with the original need, but you never can with the
substitute need. If this original need is still childish and destructive, it can mature only by bringing it
out into the open. A conscious need can mature into a mutual state where two people recognize
and express their own respective needs in such a way as to help each other find fulfillment. An
unconscious need must always be one-sided and selfish.

To assume that the sexual urge per se is sinful lust is utter distortion. As I have often said,
sexuality is a natural, healthy instinct. If it matures properly, it combines with mutuality and leads to
love and union. If it remains separate, it is lust, but it is no more evil than the lust for power, for
money, for fame, for always being right, or for anything else.

The fourth cardinal sin is ANGER. What is anger, my friends? Anger is always, in a sense, a
lie. The original feeling is often one of hurt. If you owned up to the original feeling, you would not
need to be angry. In pride, due to inferiority, you feel humiliated when you are hurt because you
give someone else the power to hurt you. Therefore, you substitute anger for the original pain.
Anger seems less shameful, setting you above the other person, rather than feeling your
vulnerability, which seems an inferior place. Anger lifts you above the true position you find
yourself in -- that of being hurt. In pride, you lie about your real feeling. Thus, anger and pride are
connected.
(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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The lie is one of self-deception and therefore of self-alienation. It is displacement.
Thus, the lie causes negative effects, while owning up to your feelings does not.

Hurt, free from anger, cannot negatively affect others: therefore it will not come back to the
self. If the primary emotion -- pain or hurt -- is no longer conscious, or if it is intermingled with the
secondary emotion of anger, it turns destructive. Whether the anger manifests in deeds or words, or
whether it is merely an emanation, makes no difference. When you admit that you feel hurt, you do
not cut off the bridge to the other person; in anger, you do. The genuine, primary emotion is not
contrary to love and communication, while the substitute emotion is.

You know that I usually shy away from the word "sin" because it encourages self-destructive
and unproductive guilt. Instead I concentrate on the underlying conditions. However, in this
context, I have to use this word. Anger which leads away from communication, from bridging gaps
between human beings, is a sin.

Of course, there is such a thing as healthy anger, but we are not talking about that. There
really should be another word for it.

QUESTION: I would like to ask a question here. Why is it that in the Bhagavad Gita anger
is considered the worst sin of all, producing complete confusion?


ANSWER: Because in anger, when it is a secondary reaction, you no longer know what you
truly feel. You are in error about yourself and therefore you cannot possibly perceive and
understand the other person. In many of the other so-called sins, you may be utterly aware of the
original feeling. Due to certain missing links, you may be unable to feel differently, yet you know
what you feel. But when you are angry, you are not feeling the primary emotion. Only with
awareness can you penetrate deeper and find the underlying hurt or pain.

I might also add that many other destructive emotions, such as jealousy, envy, or lust, also
contain anger. Anger may be a permanent state of the soul that is too subtle, too insidious, and too
hidden even to be recognized. You will now understand the reason why I have been admonishing
you to become aware of what you really feel. Whether you call it resentment or hostility, anger or
hate, makes no difference; they are all the same. Most human beings are not even aware that they
feel anger. Once they become aware of it, it is easier to find the underlying original emotion.

QUESTION: What is healthy anger?

ANSWER:
 Healthy anger is objective, when justice is at stake. It makes you assert yourself.
It makes you fight for what is good and true -- whether the issue is your own or another's, or for a
principle. You may even feel objective anger about a very personal issue, while projecting a
subjective emotion upon a general issue. It is impossible to determine whether or not the emotion
is healthy anger by looking only at the issue itself. Healthy anger feels very different from the
unhealthy kind. Unhealthy anger poisons your system. It calls forth your defenses and is at the
same time a product of them. Healthy anger will never make you tense and guilty and ill at ease.
Nor will it compel you to justify yourself. Healthy anger will never weaken you.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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Any healthy feeling will give you strength and freedom, even if the outward feeling appears to
be negative, while an apparently positive feeling may weaken you if it is dishonest, if displacement
and subterfuge are at work. If your anger leaves you freer and stronger and less confused, then it is
a healthy anger. Unhealthy anger is always a displacement of an original emotion. Healthy anger is a
direct emotion.

QUESTION: Is that the wrath of God in the Old Testament?
ANSWER: Yes, that is right.

QUESTION:
 Does that have anything to do with righteous indignation?

ANSWER: Yes, that is also healthy anger. But my friends, be very careful in your selfexamination.
When you have an outer issue in which you may be utterly justified in feeling angry,
that still may not mean that what you feel is healthy anger. The only way to determine that is by the
effect your anger has on you and others. Only you can determine the truth. Only utter candor with
yourself will enable you to distinguish between them.

The fifth cardinal sin is GLUTTONY. The deeper meaning of gluttony has to do with need.
A need that is unfulfilled and frustrated for a long period, that is thwarted again and again, will seek
outlets. Such an outlet, among many other possibilities, may be gluttony. Why would ancient
wisdom refer to this as sinful? Not merely because it is destructive of your physical health. That
would certainly not be sufficient reason to call it a sin. There are many activities in a person's life
which are undesirable and damaging to one's health, yet they are not considered sinful. Something
much more important and vital is at stake here. If you are unaware of your original needs and
therefore cannot go about fulfilling them through the removal of your inner obstructions, then you
cannot fulfill yourself. You cannot fulfill your potentials. You cannot become happy and give
happiness. You cannot unfold your creative abilities. You cannot contribute, be it in ever so small a
way, to human society and its development.

All human beings, no matter how much you may look down on them or may consider them
insignificant, have the possibility to contribute in some way to the evolutionary plan. But only if
they fulfill themselves can they do so. They cannot fulfill themselves when they are unaware of their
real needs and why these needs remain unfulfilled. As they understand the reasons, thus bringing
fulfillment closer and closer, they can contribute something to the vast reservoir of cosmic forces
and influence evolution and general spiritual development. The fulfillment and happiness of every
human being is a necessity for the entire evolution.

It would be unfair to say that unfulfillment is always due to selfishness. It may be selfishness,
or it may be a childish self-concern. Yet there is another part of the psyche that realizes that only in
happiness can one contribute, and one loses out by not contributing. This gnawing feeling of
missing out makes you strive, and if you strive in the right direction, you will eventually turn inward
and seek the reason for your unfulfillment. However, there are many wrong ways of striving that
bring only temporary relief of the inner pressure. One of these is gluttony. As I indicated
previously, there are also many other forms of addiction, such as alcoholism.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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QUESTION:
 Some psychologists say that masturbation is a primary addiction. Is this
connected with gluttony?

ANSWER: I would say that this very much depends on the frequency and on the age of the
person. To a degree, masturbation is normal. If it is a constant practice in adulthood, it is certainly
related to gluttony, although the displacement of the real need is not quite so great. It is easier to see
that the real need is a yearning for a rewarding relationship on a mature basis. With gluttony, the
displacement is so far removed that it is more difficult to recognize the underlying real need.
However, masturbation is also a substitute. It may be an easy way out to obtain relief and release
without risking the involvement and responsibility of a personal relationship.

The sixth cardinal sin is ENVY. Again, I do not have to go deeper into this because I have
covered it before. What I said about covetousness also applies to envy. I have discussed envy on
many previous occasions.

QUESTION: 
Is there something like healthy envy?

ANSWER: No, there is not, although envy might, under certain circumstances, lead to a
healthy activity. Let us say that someone is without ambition -- and there is such a thing as a healthy
ambition -- and is lethargic, withdrawn, apathetic, and indifferent. This person comes into contact
with someone whom he feels compelled to envy and thus may be pulled out of his lethargic state
and, perhaps, even get on the right track. A destructive feeling may have a constructive result, just
as a feeling, in itself constructive, may have an unhealthy effect. It depends on the many intricacies
of the human personality in relation to life circumstances. But the fact that a destructive feeling may
produce positive results in certain cases does not make the feeling itself positive, healthy, or
productive.

The seventh cardinal sin is SLOTH. Sloth is the indifference and apathy that I just
mentioned. Sloth represents the pseudo-solution of withdrawal from living and loving. Where there
is apathy, there is rejection of life. Where there is indifference, there is laziness of the heart that
cannot feel and understand others -- and cannot, therefore, relate to them. Nothing produces more
waste than sloth, or apathy, or withdrawal -- whatever name you give it. A person who has a
positive, constructive attitude toward life will not be slothful. Someone who is not preoccupied with
personal safety will not withdraw, and therefore will not become apathetic. Sloth always indicates
selfishness. If you are too afraid for yourself, you will not risk going forward and reaching out
toward others. Whoever reaches out takes the risk of being hurt and accepts this risk as worth
while.

When you are slothful, you do not give to life, to yourself, or to others, a chance. Such lifenegation
cannot ever be resolved unless you come to see this basic selfishness and self-concern as
unhealthy. Sloth is one of the defense-mechanisms I have discussed. In your fear of being hurt, you
defend yourself by becoming lazy and indifferent towards everything that is life-producing.
Therefore sloth is rightly called a sin.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
Page 6 of 13 )

QUESTION: What happens with a life, from a spiritual point of view, that has been wasted
in sloth?

ANSWER: The life has to be repeated, again and again, until the person finally pulls out of it.
You see, a law applies here which you so often observe around you: the more you are caught in a
vicious circle, the more difficult it is to break out of it. The deeper you are involved in your own
conflicts and problems -- which, in the last analysis, arise only because you do not want to come out
of them and change -- the more difficult change becomes. The more you run away from facing up
to yourself and continue to resist change, the greater the difficulty becomes. This continues until
your outer life becomes so unbearable that the very unhappiness finally makes you want to face it
and change.

If the will to change can be mustered before life becomes so unbearable, much unhappiness
can be avoided. This is why you often see that people remain caught in their inner problems as long
as they somehow "get by." They seriously settle down to changing only when life is no longer
bearable for them. The same holds true on a larger scale. If a life is wasted in sloth, time after time,
finally the circumstances of an incarnation may become so unpleasant that the entity pulls itself
together and struggles out of it.

Unfortunately, only too often sloth takes the path of least resistance as long as circumstances
are not too bad. This creates for the following life the psychological conditions that make it harder
to live in sloth because the instinct of self-preservation finally takes over when circumstances
become bad enough. When that turning point is reached depends on the person. That turning
point may come in a new and more difficult incarnation, or it may occur in the course of the present
life.

QUESTION: I was wondering why some of these deadly sins are effects instead of causes.
Also, hatred and fear are not mentioned. They too are cause and effect at the same time.

ANSWER: It is very often so in religious teachings that the effect is spoken about and not
the cause. At one time, humanity was not ready to delve deeply enough to see the causes. The best
that could be hoped for was to prevent people from destructive actions, even if the underlying
causes were not eliminated in the individual. At least, the contagiousness and the direct outer effects
of destructive actions were decreased, if not entirely eliminated. You know how contagious human
behavior is. Thoughts and emotions are also contagious. In other words, outer behavior will
influence outer behavior, while thought influences thought, and unconscious feelings influence
unconscious feelings. The contagious actions, at least in their crassest forms, were kept in check.
That is why at one time the effect was more concentrated on than the cause. Now that humanity is
evolving, more attention must be given to the inner causes.

QUESTION: And why is fear not mentioned?
ANSWER: Because fear is not an act. It is an involuntary emotion. It is a result of many
other emotions and cannot be eliminated by a direct admonition not to fear. Fear can only be
tackled by a process of psychological understanding, and by dissolving the underlying cause. If you
tell people, "You must not fear because it is a sin," this will not prevent them from being frightened.
They will be even more frightened. But if they slowly unroll the processes of their emotional
deviations, understanding them and correcting false concepts, then they will see that irrational fear is
always selfish and separating, and they will no longer find cause for such irrational fear. It is more or
less the same with hate and with anger.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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QUESTION: The conquest of fear in Matthew is by way of faith in God. How would you
relate that to our teachings?

ANSWER: As you all know by now, faith in God, in a genuine, secure, profound, and sincere
way, can only exist if you first have faith in yourself. To the degree that you lack faith in yourself,
you cannot have faith in God. Yes, you can superimpose it and deceive yourself about it, out of a
need to cling to a loving authority, but it cannot be true faith unless you have gained the maturity of
faith in yourself. Now, how can you have faith in yourself, unless you understand yourself as much
as possible? As long as you are puzzled and grope in the dark about what effect you have on others
and the effect life and others have on you, you ignore some vital information about your own
psychic life. Ignorance is a result of your inner unwillingness to discover the truth, an unwillingness
that is often unconscious. Overcoming the hidden resistance will make you understand yourself
better and have increasing faith in yourself, and thus in God. Only in this way can you conquer fear.

QUESTION: It seems to me that the seven cardinal sins are a subtler explanation of the Ten
Commandments, which are definitely based on fear, or create fear in their application.

ANSWER: Yes. Every teaching, if misapplied and misunderstood, will create fear. A rigid
commandment, if pronounced without the possibility of finding the underlying obstructions to
following such commandments, will produce fear and guilt, and therefore hate.
Today it is no longer possible and even constructive for human beings to merely obey a
commandment in their actions. Since this is not good enough, your innermost self will be fearful,
even if your actions are entirely proper and conform to the commandments. The final authority is
not outside of yourself, but embedded in your own psyche. There is a vast difference between the
perfectionistic demands of your idealized self, and the productive life that your real self wants you to
lead.

QUESTION: I noticed that these sins are liquid. They sort of flow into each other.
Sometimes they seem like opposites, like sloth contrasted with covetousness or with gluttony. They
are not exact opposites, but in some ways they are. And yet they can exist at the same time. I
wonder if there is any definite connection, say, between sloth and gluttony?

ANSWER: The two are opposites, because gluttony is a greedy reaching out, coming from a
frustrated need, while sloth is indifferent withdrawal and does not reach out. Yet both sloth and
gluttony have the same common denominator: an unawareness of the original need. Both contain
the cowardice that prevents people from finding that need and changing the conditions that prevent
fulfillment, namely childish self-concern and selfishness. Since both sloth and gluttony come from
confusion and disorder, they create more of the same.

It is perfectly true that all of these sins intermingle and overlap. They may contradict one
another and yet exist simultaneously. This is so because they all have the same common
denominator. Since the human personality is in conflict and not one-dimensional, one level of the
personality may adopt an attitude that is contradictory to another level. All of you have found such
contradictions in yourselves and in others. This is why mature people will never think of another
person as either this or that.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
Page 8 of 13)

They will perceive the contradictoriness of the human being and will be
able to apply this knowledge to individual cases in their surroundings.

The sins, as well as any commandments, represent universal tendencies. The human psyche is
not separated into clearly defined compartments, one compartment not having anything to do with
the other, but instead one affects and influences the other. So it is with these sins.

QUESTION: From what you said then, there is really no difference in weight between the
seven deadly sins? Sometimes it is said that sloth is worse than pride.

ANSWER: Evaluating this is difficult and may be misleading. It may be true that sloth is
more difficult to overcome because it is inactive. Sloth paralyzes the faculties, and thus lasts longer.
But all the seven sins are symptoms of the same underlying causes.

QUESTION: I wanted to ask about the fear of the Lord. In the Bible it is said that "the fear
of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Have we properly understood the fear? Have we evolved
beyond this?

ANSWER: This question has been discussed before. It is a question of semantics and of
wrong translation. The word "fear" is extremely misleading and damaging. The original meaning is
"respect" or "awe" before the greatness of the Creator. God's infinite greatness is such that no
human being can even remotely understand it. As you grow into emotional and spiritual maturity,
you realize your own limitation in understanding the greatness of Creation and of the Creator. That
is the awe or respect that comes out of wisdom. The wisdom, however, lies not in the unhealthy
attitude of making yourself a small "sinner," of flagellating yourself, or diminishing your own value.
In so doing, you would diminish the value of the Creator. Only the very immature, the spiritual
infant, will abuse himself, not knowing that it cannot possibly grasp the universal mind: God.
Knowing that is wisdom. As you grow, sometimes, perhaps in a few short moments in a lifetime,
you will sense your inability to comprehend Him. In the moment you become aware of this
incapacity, you are already much greater than you were when you ignored it.

QUESTION: Is not the fear of the Lord an element out of the ancient religions where
religion had a punitive character?

ANSWER: Yes, it also comes from that time. But there is also a question of wrong
translation, perhaps because of the remnants of that earlier time.

QUESTION: How about sin from the spiritual point of view? If you don't actually commit
the sin, though you are thinking about it, but out of fear or any other reason do not execute the
sinful act, does this still count as sin?

ANSWER: Jesus said all there is to say on that topic. The difference between action, feeling,
or thought is not half as great as human beings want to believe. This happens especially when not
committing the act is due to fear and not to love and understanding. You know that you all have an
aura. What you feel and think emanates from you and is somehow always perceived by others. The
higher the level of the other people's consciousness, the more aware they may be of the emanation
they perceive from you.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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The lower their level of consciousness, the less will they be aware of it, but
unconsciously they would still know. Hence your "sin" affects others, even if it is not acted out.

On the other hand, if you repress these feelings and desires out of fear and guilt, the results
are even worse. You will never get to the roots and you will not understand what makes you feel
that way. You will not accept yourself as you now are and will deceive yourself into believing that
you are a more evolved person than you happen to be. But if you freely admit your feelings and
desires, if you acknowledge them in yourself and face them, then you can find the underlying causes.
Thus you will do the one thing that will free you from fear and guilt.

QUESTION: In today's Post, Harry Golden wrote something to the effect that conformity is
not living in a house similar to your neighbor's, but rather living in that house in order to impress
your neighbor, or to make your neighbor like you. I think this is probably an adequate explanation
of conformity. Now, I would like to know to what extent do mature people conform with the
society in which they live?

ANSWER: If we use the word "conforming" in the sense in which it is usually used, that of
living up to other people's expectations, either out of a need to impress, or out of fear of rejection,
mature people will not conform at all. But that does not mean that they rebel. Nor does it mean
that they do everything differently from others. They may do certain things in the same way as their
neighbors, but only because they freely choose to do so. Just because they are free does not mean
they have to make a show of not conforming. Conformists often find it necessary to rebel and do
the very opposite of what they want to do merely to show that they are different. This is the other
side of the coin and stems from the same root as the behavior of those persons who cannot make an
independent choice because they cannot risk being different. The outer manifestation does not
show whether or not a person conforms. This is determined by the inner spirit, the motive. People
living like those around them may do so out of insecurity, needing to conform, or out of the
freedom to choose this way of life independently, because they like it. When people do everything
differently out of rebellion, their underlying need to conform is exposed. They rebel against the
need and insecurity in themselves, rather than against society. Such rebellion is not free. It often
makes people do the very opposite of what they really want to do. But it is also possible that those
who have the courage to be different do so with a free spirit.

QUESTION: This question pertains to the "one and only love." The mature person, it
seems, gives love very easily and certainly would want something in return. If a person is, let's say,
seventy-five percent mature and gets this wonderful feeling from giving love, then it seems that the
object of the love is not so important. How could such a mature person who needs and wants to
give love, who is able to give it, reconcile this with what romantics say about two people coming
together, and then, suddenly, this is it!

ANSWER: There is a great deal of confusion here. In the first place, there are many different
kinds of love. It is perfectly true that a mature person can love many people in many different ways.
For clarity's sake, let us use the words "warmth" and "understanding." These feelings can even be
felt for people who do not actively love this mature person in return. Yet, this very same mature
person will certainly not harbor erotic love, the love between the sexes, when it is not reciprocated.
A mature, rewarding relationship is mutual. It cannot be one-sided. It would be a crass
misunderstanding to believe that mature men and women can love when they are hated.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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The best that can be expected is that they will not hate in return because they are not defensive. They are
uninvolved and objective, and therefore they sense why the other person hates. However, they will
not seek a relationship in such a case, not even one of casual friendship. Mature men and women
will have understanding and warmth in different degrees for different people. They will relate to
many people in different ways. But in marital, committed love, mutuality is a prerequisite for a
mature relationship. This does not mean that both always feel the same way and with the same
intensity; marital love cannot be measured in such terms. Relationships change and fluctuate, but on
the whole there must be reciprocity. You bring two different kinds of love together here -- general
human relationship and erotic love -- and this is why you are confused.

QUESTION: In marital love, is it possible that perhaps the husband loves more at first, and
then the wife, and then it changes again?

ANSWER: Of course. But this may also have to do with something other than love in its
true sense. It may be that at one time the need and insecurity of one person may be greater, and
then that person manifests dependency. When the need is satisfied, the picture may change.

QUESTION: Isn't the greatest and best adjusting factor in a marital relationship the ability to
slowly grow into seeing God in the other partner?

ANSWER: This applies to any kind of human relationship.

QUESTION:
 I'm becoming aware of a new kind of feeling. As depressions, fears, and
repressions dissolve, there emerges a personality that has no personal involvement and feelings, so
that one first realizes that love has two sides: a kind of negation and a positiveness, both in a
personal involvement with the self as the object. Thereby love becomes an understanding and a
non-personal involvement, such that you may feel for a stranger whom you do not like particularly
and with whom you have no personal involvement. It is just an acceptance. In a personal
relationship, this becomes a process of growing between two people, without questions like "who
loves most." It is a deep personal giving, a most interesting feeling. You feel as though you have
lost your body.

ANSWER: Yes, it is as though someone else spread this feeling through you. As though
some new being took hold of you inwardly. You may perhaps experience the same with thoughts,
as though a thought is thought in you, as though it is not your own thought process that thinks, and
yet it is very much your own, but it comes from a new and unaccustomed area of your being. It is
something calmer and wiser that thinks and feels through you.
This is what I talk about again and again. It is the real self that is slowly coming to the fore,
emerging out of all the layers of disturbance. As you learn to understand and accept yourself the
way you are, and therefore resolve conflicts -- not by repression and escaping from them, not by
pseudo-solutions and defenses, but by squarely facing all that is in you, understanding it and
comparing it with reality and truthful concepts; as you go through this pathwork -- this real self
begins to manifest. What you describe is the manifestation of the real self. Now, this does not
come in all areas of living and being at once. It may first appear in the areas where conflicts of lesser
seriousness have been resolved. The next step will be to resolve the more serious problems which
reveal the existence of a deep, subjective and destructive involvement, even if non-involvement is
being used as superficial pseudo-solution.

(Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
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In the new state of the real self there is indeed a deep
involvement, but in an entirely different way -- in a way that does not weaken and confuse. This
involvement is productive for all concerned and fills you and those in touch with you with a
meaningfulness you could not experience in non-involvement or in childish dependency and overinvolvement.
From a certain point on the path, you may find yourself on a plateau where you experience, as
the result of your efforts, the manifestation of the real self. Yet, you may have to come away from it
again, as you tackle the still unresolved problems, repeating the cycles you have gone through on a
deeper level, until you reach the next plateau. At a time like this, as you describe it, the feelings I
spoke about before, the awe of God, and the realization of one's own limitation to grasp the
Creator, may come simultaneously. A divine aspect in yourself begins to fill you, first with a feeling
as though it were something else, and then penetrating, enveloping you from inside out, until you
know it is an integral part of you: your real self.

QUESTION: If a man marries without being really deeply in love with a woman -- first, is
this wrong? Second: is it possible that with proper guidance this marriage could turn out well? Is it
possible that they then fall in love, that it develops into a real love affair, even though it was started
rather coldly?

ANSWER: It is very hard to answer you with a definite statement of right or wrong. It
depends on so many circumstances. It depends on the motivation, on the kind of feelings you do
have, and on the will and effort that is put into the relationship. But, generally, I may say that if the
motivation is sincere and if feelings of affection, respect, liking for the other human being are there,
together with certain common basic interests, this may indeed turn out to be a better marriage than
one based only on passion. In the latter, the real values may be overlooked. Yet, I do not mean that
if two people are in love, they necessarily overlook the real values. They may have fallen in love just
because of them.

What you say is certainly not a rule, but it is possible under certain circumstances if real values
are perceived. However, a careful examination should be made in such a case as to the motivation
in both people. This cannot be quickly and easily done, because deep and hidden factors may play a
role. Even distorted and unhealthy motives, when finally brought out into the open, may not have a
damaging effect. But they will be extremely damaging if one is unaware of them or not willing to
deal with them.

My dearest friends, may you succeed in absorbing and making an integral part for yourself of
the material I have given you in all these lectures. Much of it has not been absorbed yet, and only
your will to plow ahead in this work of self-finding will enable you to do so. May these words
tonight fortify your understanding, both in your intellect and in your emotions. Be blessed, each
one of you, on your path, in your work, in your activities, in your human relationships. May you all
learn to accept yourselves as you are without a feeling of sin, and in this acceptance resolve the
conditions that are called "sin." Be in peace. Be in God!

____________________________________

* See #30, Self-will, Pride, and Fear

Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
Page 12 of 13
Edited by Judith and John Saly


Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 102 (1996 Edition)
Page 13 of 13

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